Being a dreamer is about realizing that you need to think differently in order to have what you’ve never had and go where you’ve never been before. Julia Gentry and Travis Gentry dedicate this episode to guide you in your journey to rethink by sharing their own journeys and the lessons they’ve learned along the way. Part of that is starting the show, and they let us in on the rethinking that took place to make Dream On! possible. What is more, Julia and Travis take us deeper into their lives, where the rethinking first started and the pivotal moments that have since defined their lives. They talk about food, career, money, the environment, as well as their relationships. Follow Julia and Travis as they keep their lives open to us, lending some great wisdom to help us live free and create whatever is on the inside of us.
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Our Journey to Rethink
Here we are with episode two, talking about rethinking different things that have happened in our lives that we are rethinking like how we do this show. The whole philosophy was like, “Let’s go to new places, different places.” Some of it has to do with what we’re talking about. Some of it doesn’t. There’s a third time too, let’s be honest. We came out here once and wasn’t feeling it.
Three times is the charm, but that was also our goal. We want this to be real and we also want it to be done in a spirit of excellence. I love how this works. We had it completely set up and then we had to reframe this thing. We wanted to walk you through on this show our journey of rethinking, specifically because every part about being a dreamer, you’ll start to realize that you have to think differently. Dreamers do think differently. In order to have what you’ve never had, to go where you’ve never gone, and to do what you’ve never done, you can’t keep thinking about what you’ve always thought. You have to change your mind. You have to change your perspective. Because much of this show is going to be wrapped around the ability to do that, we thought that we would take an episode to share with you our journey to rethink, and to share with you these crazy, simple moments that started us on our journey to rethink in many areas. We’re going to be talking about food, career, money and environment. These were pivotal times in our life that we started to rethink everything.
It allowed you the opportunity to rethink. As before, it’s been a challenge where certain things come up and it’s expanding our capacity and our mental muscle in new ways. We’re doing that as we’re doing the show. We could have wrapped it up and said, “It’s raining. We’ll come back and do it again.” Here we are. We pushed through it.
We’ve learned over the years that your mindset matters. What could happen with that concept is that it gets watered down. Especially in the personal development world, you can hear it many times or even the Bible says, “Renew your mind every single day.” You’re like, “I hear that but I need to make money. I need to make a change fast. I need to do things. I need to check and see what my neighbor is doing.” What we do is we start striving, going and doing, but then we’re starting to change the outside world, but we’re not changing the inside world. We wonder why it’s not working, why we feel stuck, and why we’re unclear.
I need to feel a certain way. Energetically, if you don’t feel a certain way to act your way into a new way of thinking or thinking your way into a new way of acting, it’s challenging because I don’t feel like it now. Maybe the next day I’ll feel it or next week. Most often we never feel like it 100%.
As we share in this episode our journey to rethink so you know more about us and how we’ve gotten to where we are and how we think the way that we think. In the next episode, we’re also going to share with you how to start your own journey of rethinking. We all have these pivotal moments whether they’re simple or profound, that we’re given the opportunity to rethink if we see them as that. Otherwise, you bulldoze right over it and nothing changes. Wherever you go, there you are. In the next episode, we will also walk you through the journey of how do you rethink in any area of your life.
We figured we’d share some of our moments and we will have a download for next time. There will be a download to help you walk through the process of asking yourself the right questions or some of the things. The first example I’ll give you is when I was probably in 4th or 5th grade. I grew up in a great neighborhood, went to a good school, but we didn’t grow up over and above. We grew up and it was tight. Special privileges were going to McDonald’s on a Tuesday because it was a $0.99 Happy Meal. It was amazing because I didn’t think anything different at that time. You have an experience that challenges or you’re like, “There is a new way or different way to look at things.”We're all here to live free and to create whatever's on the inside of us. Click To Tweet
For this example, I went out to dinner with my friend and his parents. We went to this steak and lobster place, which I’d never been to before. We sat down and started ordering. My friend ordered steak and lobster, got a soda. I was almost waiting to see his parents be like, “No, you can’t get that,” or “We can’t afford that. You need to order off the kids’ menu,” because this was the adult menu. This wasn’t the little kid menu. This was the big menu. He ordered it and his parents didn’t say anything. I definitely jumped on and followed suit. I ordered the same thing. I don’t know what he’s having, but that sounds good. Steak and lobster sounds great. We ordered it and they didn’t say anything. It was almost planting a seed. It’s not necessarily you have this pivotal shift and you know right away. It’s almost like that experience has always been with me of like, “That’s interesting.” The way I grew up is different. It’s not bad, right or wrong. It’s just different. You experience a different setting or situation, then you’re like, “Now I have the opportunity to rethink how do I want to live.”
Let me ask you this. That’s a great analogy. Let’s say that these moments are seeds. It’s an opportunity for a new thought process to emerge. It’s almost like in the Bible where it talks about if the seed falls among the thorns or along the road, it will get trampled on. Let’s say that this is a seed that took root. What was the seed? Looking back, what was the thought process that has been growing ever since then that you saw at that moment?
I would say the biggest thing is that you can have what you want, which has been a challenge for me over the years. It planted the seed of like, “You can have what you want.” Tell me if you think about this for yourself most of the time. If you go out to a restaurant, do you order off of the right side or the left side, which is what you want? Do you look down and you’re like, “That sounds good?” You immediately look to the right at the price and you’re like, “I want the special deal, the chicken,” or whatever it is. Not the steak, not the filet mignon, not whatever the most expensive. Especially when it’s at market price, you’re like, “I have no idea how much that is.”
Do you go to a restaurant knowing here’s the range and the budget I’m going to stay in, or you go to a restaurant saying, “I’m going to get an appetizer. I’m going to get something to drink. I’m going to have my main course. I may have some dessert?” That opened my eyes because growing up, we didn’t go to the restaurants. When we did, most of the time, we were ordering off the kids’ menu or we were splitting something. Once we got to a certain age, we’d go, but knowing that there’s a limitation because it was a special thing for us, which was awesome. It opened the door for me to say, “As I grow up, I get the opportunity to choose.”
Let’s talk about this. If someone’s reading or for me because I grew up similar where we didn’t have any money. It could be easy. What I’ve heard you say is most people go, “We can’t afford that.” Travis, that might be nice for someone else who can afford that. They can afford the appetizer and the filet mignon, but here was what you’ve communicated as a mindset shift. I’ve watched you do this, which is you take that scenario and you go, “We can’t afford it,” based upon how I’ve grown up and they somehow could, so it’s not, “I can’t afford it anymore.” It’s now, “How can I afford the appetizer and the lobster and the market price?” Not just, “I can’t afford it anymore. How can I?” You’re checking out. You’re tapping out.
What do I need to do to be able to have what I want? That seed has always been in the back of my mind.
It’s funny that you say that because mine was also stimulated from being a kid. My parents got divorced when I was five. It caught me off completely off guard and it triggered a lot of stress in my body. I didn’t know that until I was probably 28 years old, and I’ll fill in what the greatest turning point was for me. I grew up and I was under a lot of stress. My way to cope with being caught off guard or like, “I can’t control this,” was to do everything the “right way.” I remember picking up my outfits for school the night before. I remember getting up to make sure that my lunch was ready, my hair was done, everything looked right. I got all the good grades. I said all the right things, but it was not out of choice. It was out of stress because I was afraid.
Now looking back, it was self-induced stress because you weren’t equipped or didn’t understand the emotions and feelings.
My dad would say things to me like, “I don’t care what you do, just make sure you do it the right way.” For me, that was like, “That was so much.” He completely alluded to there’s a right way and there’s a wrong way. Now I lived in a lot of stress because I wanted to please my dad. It wasn’t until when I was 28 years old and we started working on all the stuff that we teach now. How do you take these limiting beliefs and create something that’s bigger? How do you create a bigger vision for your life? Mine ended up being a world where we live free and we create uninhibitedly. I hated it. I came up and I was in resistance to it. There was this part of me that went, “If this is true, then everything I’ve ever thought before is false.”
Why did you hate it? Is it the head to heart disconnect of like, “I did it at a head level but my heart?”
No, it’s the opposite. My heart was like, “Yes,” but my head was like, “No, that screws with everything you’ve done.”
That goes 100% against what my truth has become for myself.
Yes, because my truth had become to do it the right way. I even remember in business, I’d say to Travis, “Tell me what to do and I will do it.” You used to look at me like, “That’s not how you become an entrepreneur, Julia. You’ve got to figure it out.” I was stressed and need to do things the right way that all of a sudden, when that seed was planted of live free and create uninhibitedly, my heart went, “Yes.” Everything in me said yes, but this whole logical part of me was like, “Crap.” That changes everything, which is the hardest part of rethinking.
It opens up a whole new realm. What you thought was true is not true, so then what is true? What is the truth? Where is the truth? How do I find the truth? There’s got to be a truth but it’s not mine.The truth will piss you off before it sets you free. Click To Tweet
It honestly took me probably 2 or 3 years before my head started unwinding from all of the false truths, all the limits. My heart was able to wind up around the actual truth that we’re all here to live free and to create whatever is on the inside of us. I’m still a work in progress, but it took a couple of years before that seed, that experience, that new thought process took hold.
Go back to it, water it, cultivate it and strengthen that muscle to make it your new truth, not just someone else’s or what you saw.
That’s the hard part. That’s when it’s easiest to go back. When you haven’t quite grabbed on to the next thing, it’s easier to go back to that familiar place. It’s easier to go back to, “See, we can’t afford it. It’s easier to go back to do things the right way, Julia.”
You auto trip back to your comfort zone. You’re like, “This is my life,” or “This happens to me.” It’s almost like a victim of every time I get here, then this happens. Yes, but there are also certain things that you’re probably not learning or haven’t learned to push past that level in whatever area that you’re trying to push past. You’re going to get challenged on it. It’s what I’m saying. Once you figure it out and you’re like, “I’ll do this,” and it goes away.
I remember in the RV when I started to try to work out and I wanted muscle tone, I’ve always been a skinny girl. This was probably nine months after we have Nixon and I wanted to build muscle. I told Travis like I’m going to let him know at least the direction I’m going, “I’ve always been skinny but I want to be tone and I want to be fit.” I didn’t ask his input. I didn’t ask anyone else’s advice. I thought I’m going to do what I’ve done but more of it. I’m going to go and I’m going to run harder and longer. I’m going to get on the bike and the elliptical.
Even my weight, I’m going to do faster weights. I’m going to do more reps. I’m going to do what I’ve always done, but I’m going to do more of it. I didn’t get any outside advice. I didn’t get any input. I remember after months of doing this, I came into the RV. I was starting to be depleted and exhausted. I came in venting, which Travis knew at this point in time long enough that when I’m venting, I don’t want input. I’m going on and on about my workouts. It’s not working and then I’m not gaining any muscle. I’m exhausted, “See? This doesn’t work. It’s my DNA. It’s my body type,” all the excuses that are fair that we would justify it. He doesn’t look up and graciously says to me, “Are you lifting until failure?” I was like, “No.” It was my ego and my pride.
I don’t remember your reaction.
It was in my head. I walked away mind blown. Those moments that you’re like, “That changes everything.” That’s the concept of how you start to rethink. I have to lift until failure. I have to do one more pushup. I have to do this in a different way. What got me skinny isn’t going to get me toned. I have to have resistance. I have to lean into the pressure. I have to know that in order to go to a place I’ve never gone or to your point, in order to have anything I want, in order for me to create uninhibitedly, I’m going to have to do a few pushups around this. I’m going to get triggered. There’s going to be tension. It’s going to piss me off.
I know you say it and I don’t know if you got it from someone else but it’s like, “The truth will piss you off before it sets you free.” It’s understanding if anything comes against you and challenges what you believe deeply for a long time, especially when someone comes and says something different. Your first instinct is to be defensive and argumentative because of the fact of like, “No, this is my truth. I hold it. I love it. This is mine. I can’t let it go.” When that happens, you have to defend it before you step away. You’re like, “Maybe what I’m saying wasn’t true to me but it’s not true or there’s another way to look at it.”
You’re like, “Do we preach it now and say amen?” It’s almost like it’s a bad friend, but it’s still a friend. You want to bring it with you because he’s always been with me. He’s the one that sits with me at night and goes, “Travis, you’re right. The world will never align itself with you. You’re right. You can never have what you want.” It’s a bad friend, but it’s still a friend.
That’s why most people that complain are around other complainers because it’s nice like, “I totally get that. That happened to me too.” You feel good about it as opposed to being around someone else that says, “Get off the couch and do something different.”
I know that we had a major transition in career, how we thought about work, money, job. I remember you were ahead of me in that by far and I can remember your mindset shift when we got into real estate and we started making money. Can you walk us through because I know that that was a pivotal time for you? Can you share that process?
Anything specific because in the first episode, I did talk about what was a huge shift for me and opened that whole rethinking door was Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad Poor Dad on business, entrepreneur, self-employed, investor. Having a job at the time, making good money for my age and then coming to the realization that I was miserable and I was still limited too. I was getting paid a salary. From my perspective at the time, there wasn’t a whole lot else I could do. Now knowing what I know, I potentially could have gone to the owners and say, “What if I do this or increase the sales,” or come up with some way that if I can increase their bottom line and increase my bottom line even more where I don’t think that happens most of the time. You said that whether it’s a salary or hourly, that’s all there is. Instead of looking at where is that opportunity where I can make more, but in order for me to make more, I need to increase the value and the bottom line to the business that I’m working for.
That was it because I remember you said that you started to realize for the first time that we made money and I’ll let you tell it. Remember the first money that we made in real estate, the first big check that we got doing short sales and you said, “Now I know that my freedom comes from the ability to make money.”You got to let go to get something different, to move forward. Click To Tweet
The understanding of how do I offer a service that it’s limitless. I can scale this as big as I want. After we had jumped into real estate and fumbled around for six months, looking back, it was much needed. If we had hit a grand slam or a home run right off the bat, I don’t think we would have learned and set the foundation. Fumbling around, getting in debt, losing money. We partnered with someone and took our skillsets. That’s the other thing I learned too is being an entrepreneur is a team sport. You can’t do it by yourself. We’re taught in school, you take tests by yourself. You have to do everything by yourself. It’s limited where you’re working with a group to accomplish a goal. There are certain probably classes and stuff that you do that. Most often, it’s you and what you can do.
Being an entrepreneur, I realized quickly having the right partners and the right people so you can stay in your God-given talents, and they do theirs and you come together is amazing. After closing that first deal, which was almost what I made all year working for the company, it blows your mind. It’s like, “This is legit.” It didn’t happen overnight. I had to put in the work and then it took a while to close the deal. With what we have, we can scale this, which we did, and do this multiple times a month or a couple of times a week. I am in control now. I don’t have money or if I do have money, it’s because of me, but it has nothing to do with anybody else.
We started to demystify it because what happened watching you, if I could be on the outside watching you learn this lesson is I thought that I would be free if I had more money, which is why we started making more and I didn’t feel freer. In fact, I didn’t even act freer, which is why we were spending more than we were making. We ended up again back in debt and in my mom’s basement. We talked about that already, but I started to watch you. I remember when you started to say words like, “Money doesn’t bring more freedom. It’s the ability to know how to make money that brings freedom.” It’s the one that I now know, do I want to stay in this business and grow it? Do I want to be a contributor? Do I want to add to the bottom line? Do I want to be in real estate? Knowing that now, my freedom only comes from my ability to make money. Now, all of a sudden, I’m not attached to money. We were no longer attached to money. We were free to choose how to make money, which is what got us here.
At the end of the day, you have to solve a problem and solving enough problems and scaling it or the bigger problem that you solve is in direct correlation to monetarily how much you make. You can’t be an employee at a fast-food chain and expect to get what a brain surgeon gets.
I know this sounds like a silly question but, why?
Because the problem that you’re solving is, “Welcome to this restaurant. How can I serve you? Do you want a large fries and drink with that? Medium or small? Anything else? Ketchup or mustard?” That’s what you’re doing. It’s solving a little problem relative to someone that’s a brain surgeon that is solving a major problem. The time, effort and energy that had to go into that to be able to be a brain surgeon are exponentially higher, but no matter what you want, you can have, especially nowadays you can see how someone else has done it. If it’s in real estate, if it’s in investing, the stock market, YouTube channels, there’s someone that’s already done it. Understand that if you want to be a doctor or an attorney, you have to put in the years to go through the process and the system that they have in place to be able to do that. As far as an entrepreneur, you can expedite your time quickly because of YouTube and the internet and mentors. Finding someone that’s already gone before you, it’s huge.
This has been a huge game-changer because of that rethink. The seed that’s planted that says, “Now my freedom comes because I consciously choose. My freedom doesn’t come from more money. My freedom doesn’t come because I get all the answers right. My freedom comes because I choose consciously.” That’s the whole point here. It’s good.
It even helps you as we go through this crazy time right now. There are people that are hurting financially and there are people that are crushing it, and everywhere in between.
Let’s go down this bunny trail because prior to COVID happening, I was doing some research and it said that 70% of people were actively disengaged with their life in their career. Meaning somewhere between, “It’s fine,” to like “I didn’t subscribe to this life or this career.” In theory, three million people now are unemployed. Seventy percent of those people were given the opportunity to find something different that they do like. They could now go, “I didn’t even like my job before. I wasn’t even engaged with my life. I wasn’t jiving with the people I’m around. I don’t even like the environment I live in. I don’t even feel healthy,” and then something like this happened. If we’re not careful, we could easily fall prey to the mindset that says, “This is happening to me. I lost my job. I’m not going to be able to survive. There’s not enough. I can’t have what I want,” or they could take a mindset of exactly what we’re talking about and going, “What if now is my chance?”
It’s a forced reset though. If you’re not mentally ready for it or wanting it, it pisses you off and you revert back to your comfort zone, whether that’s blame or victim mentality. It’s hard. Especially in that situation. I had the same thing happen to me when in 2007 they cut my pay in half, but I was mentally already strengthening that muscle to prepare like, “We’re going to go, but I’m still addicted to the paycheck. We’ll go when we have X amount saved up in six months.” That came way faster. It was easy to make that decision of like, “No, I’m going to put in my two weeks now because I was already mentally preparing for it.”
What do you do at forced reset? Let me share mine. Let me share one of my greatest moments.
I don’t want to get too in the weeds because that’s what we’re going to help with on the next episode and go in the weeds of how you a little bit more. Tangible things that you could say, whether it’s forced reset or practicing new habits to prepare yourself for a reset.
Let me give a little bit of insight in another one for me. In the RV travels, we talked a little bit about this before. When our Jeep got totaled, I remember thinking, first of all, when we came around the corner and I looked at you, the Jeep is up on the side of the curb. You can see pieces. I remember thinking, “This Jeep to me resembled everything.” We had put this on our vision board years ago. We had the family, we had the RV, we had a Jeep, and we had obtained a lot of the things that were important to us. For me, this Jeep was the manifestation of like, “I can have what I want.” I believe that if it’s in me, it’s possible and I can have what I want.
Someone came in and totaled it. Immediately I went to this place that said, “This is happening to us. What did we do wrong?” My right and wrong triggers. What did we do wrong and this is happening to us? We had a plan and we’re supposed to leave in a couple of days. This is supposed to happen. We do this. Q2 was supposed to look this and I was supposed to be making X amount of money. We’re playing God. I start playing God. I remember you turning around going, “This is happening for us.” I looked at you and I was like, “What did he just say?”Life happens for you, not to you. Click To Tweet
I have to say, I got that from Tony Robbins. Life happens for you, not to you. That’s not the first time we got to practice that. There was another incident when we were doing the fifth wheel travels the first time that within the first week, the engine blew and we got stalled out in Tulsa for three weeks. We’ll probably do a YouTube video on some of the lessons that we learned in that RV travels, but it was practice in the making of when that happened, I wasn’t mad. It was a teenager that hit the car. I made sure that they’re okay.
I was mad. Travis was being kind. In my head, I was like, “Were you not paying attention? Were you on your phone? The speed limit was only 30 miles an hour. You have to be looking down at your feet to hit the car. This is what was coming out of me. I remember him and for a minute I went, “I’m going to have to go with this because my thought process isn’t serving me. I feel angry. I’m now mad at this girl. I’m not going to be nice to the kids. I’m going to ruin these next three weeks if I’m not careful. I almost have this intuitive sense that, “I need to probably borrow Travis’ thought,” which you borrowed from Tony Robbins. We’re all borrowing better thought processes. Looking back, those next three weeks created a stimulus for me that took hold of that because we went to places we would have never gone. We saw Horseshoe Bend and the Grand Canyon. We went to Zion National Park.
We definitely saw different things that we weren’t intending to see. What’s cool as you’re talking about this, what happened was people that came. I remember, and this is super small. The ice cream store because we were parked right in front of an ice cream store. I moved it a block in front of there. It was like it was meant to be for some reason. The ice cream store gave us free ice cream and then a Jeep rental company came out and said, “I’ll give you one of our cool lifted Jeeps until you guys figure out what you need and what’s going to happen with your Jeep,” not realizing it took almost three weeks. They were going to total it.
The kindness of what happened after that, it was cool to see within a matter of seconds, our needs got met. We had three kids. We had a car, we had some ice cream for the kids so they were entertained. A week later we got a minivan so we could travel around. It wasn’t ideal at the time. We talked about it in the first episode too. Holding your hands out and open as opposed to clenched and being angry about the Jeep getting ran into and how it could have ruined the week, the month.
It becomes a choice to be angry and clenched or to open your hands and go and know that God is going to provide, which He did. We saw things that we couldn’t have even dreamt up or imagined. It felt like when you do see it in that flow state, things will get into alignment. It will be what it needs to be. That would serve even people now. What if things aren’t happening to you? What if they are happening for you? If you hold on and you clench and you’re still in control, you’re still attached. There’s no flow. If you go, “No, this is happening for me. I’m repositioning my career. I’m repositioning my health. I’m repositioning where I could be living.” Even people now that are moving from the big cities that are like, “I don’t even like living here,” and they’re going to some quality of life states. There’s more space.
We’ve talked about where it’s like the trapeze where you go from one bar to the next. If you clench your hands, you’re never going to the next trapeze. You’re going to swing back and forth until you realize, “I’ve got to let go to get something different to move me forward.” That next leap may not be the thing. It may be 2, 3 or 4 things down the way.
If you don’t let go, you’re ultimately going to swing back and forth or fall. That’s a good analogy. Those have been powerful ones. Any others that you can think of?
We were talking about the RV.
That was the other thing with the RV when you started seeing many different things. Let’s also talk to the point of habits and routines. You start driving to the grocery store the same way or you start doing a lot of the same things, and you wake up 10, 20, 30 years later, people say all the time like, “This isn’t what I envisioned for life.”
We were talking about that. That was a huge thing for me. I grew up in only two different houses, which is a blessing.
I lived in 21 homes before I left my mom and dad.
There are pros and cons to it, but that was my truth or my habit loop, my experience, and what I saw. You have social conditioning and environmental conditioning. You have your family, what you see and modeled relationally or financially, and then you see your environment. I grew up in Parker, Colorado. I saw a lot of the same thing growing up. As I grew, a lot of it was the same things. Conversations were similar. People were similar because you adapt to your environment too. Even as it grew, it didn’t change dramatically. The first time that was eye-opening for me was moving to the Virgin Islands. When I was 22 or something, I moved down to the Virgin Islands for a few months and being on an island is a totally different lifestyle. Climate, weather, activities. The culture is totally different. From there, I went up to Chicago and we lived in Nashville and Milwaukee, and then coming back here and then what solidified or opened my eyes was traveling in an RV. The first time we traveled in the RV was for about three months up to the East Coast from Kentucky to Maine, Boston and all the little towns. You get to see how people talk, the food, the culture, the beliefs when you drive around neighborhoods from houses that don’t have doors and have sheets on them to mega-mansions.
Even though I had moved many times before, we were doing this at such a rapid pace. We were doing it Travis Gentry style. We were seeing it so fast that you were going from different cultures and different environments that it was even more apparent that this is a thing. Energetically, certain cities, towns, attitudes or cultures or some towns that nobody looked at you. I remember going to Bend and people were waving at us. We were like, “Why are you waving and smiling?” There are some cities where you’re like Frogger. Make sure that you know as a walker that cars don’t look out for you. In Bend, everybody waves and acknowledges you, but it was fast that we weren’t able to see that more intentionally.
Family-wise, as we have four kids now, it’s what do we want for our kids? We do want our kids to travel and experience. We do want a home base but we get to choose that too. Through our travels, I remember running into people and they would say, “I’ve lived here my whole life.” It’s almost like, “I have to. I have no choice.” There’s a wall around the state or their city that they can’t leave. You can find yourself in that because it’s comfortable. You’ve got your friends, your family, that’s what you’re used to. Going to a new area and not knowing anybody can be super scary. Understandably so and at the same time, what you get to see and experience and the people you get to meet. We have friends now all across the country from the East Coast to the West Coast. I look forward to even meeting more people and culturally and the way they talk and food. We’ve got a pair that lives with us. She’s from Brazil. Culturally, the food and they celebrate. When they do things, it’s so cool to see. It makes us look way boring.The byproduct of dreaming a real dream is a big dream. Click To Tweet
We went to Travis’s grandma’s birthday party. It was a normal birthday. They played a video, they had it catered, they had a little photo booth thing. Jenny said to us, “Is this the party?” We were like, “Yes. What do you mean?” She’s like, “Where’s the dancing and the music? It should be loud.” They dress up and then they do that every Sunday.
They’re family, culturally, celebrate, bright colors, loud fun music, dance music. Watching that, how do you take that into ours? Do we want that? Is that who we are? It’s not like every culture has something like, “We’re going to start doing that because we saw it.” Now we’re looking at it from a totally different perspective. Les Brown says, “You can’t see the picture when you’re in the frame.” Now we’re taking ourselves out and saying, “From family, food, travel, money, faith, what do we want our relationship to be with God and our creator? How do we want to now teach our kids? Whatever we do and show them, good or bad, they’re going to model.” They come up with their own truths based on how we acted or what we did.
That reinforced that vision for me of create uninhibitedly. I still sometimes would say to travel, but is this the right way of doing this? Are we doing the right thing for our family? Are we doing the right thing for our finances? It’s that constant reminder for me of what the RV did. It’s like, “Reality is what reality is.” What do you imagine? Now that we’ve seen this all, you get to create anything. Your marriage is about creating. Your finances is about creating. Your relationship with your kids is about creating. What do you want it to be? That was a huge stimulus for me of anything. Reality is what it is. Don’t make it better. Don’t make it worse. Let it be what it is. Now, what do you imagine?
I find that I’ve wired myself not all the time, but more often than before, which is if I get stuck or I start to blame something or this is happening to me is to say, “What do I imagine here?” I get that I’m angry. I get that I’m pissed off. I get that this didn’t happen in my control. I get that I feel stressed or anxious, but what do I imagine? I imagine a better connection with Travis. I imagine playing with my kids. Truly playing like no limits. Act like I’m five with them, then getting my butt to where my imagination is. That’s the next step.
There are glass ceilings and there are self-imposed limitations.
We’re going to talk about that in the next episode.
I do want to share a little bit about you had said that big awakening for you and creating uninhibitedly. We’ve talked about it for years, but mine is I can’t have what I want because it’s not fair.
That is your greatest limiting belief.
If I get what I want, then someone loses out or someone will be hurt by me getting what I want. Whether it’s financially or me going and hiking at fourteen or doing something that I love to do, someone else loses if I win. That’s been a constant. Financially, we’ve had successes, we’ve had failures and you get to that glass ceiling or comfort zone. You back down. You sabotage it, not consciously. Subconsciously, you do things that bring you back down to a certain level whether financially. Going from the step of making minimum wage when I first started working when I was fifteen to then working my way up a company ladder or making $70,000, and then closing a deal in one day. It took a couple of months to work on.
It took six months and a year mentally changing and learning real estate. Closing that deal and getting one check that’s almost the exact same amount that I worked the whole year for, now knowing I can duplicate this and grow this, it’s scary. Real estate specifically, that’s why a lot of people have a hard time with it because if you get $40,000 or $50,000 a year, you can make $40,000 or $50,000 in one project. It’s hard to comprehend. That’s what we’re going to dive deeper into and talk about. It’s a constant. We’re going to different thresholds and levels for ourselves too. It’s the joy of the journey, which sometimes it’s not. You get frustrated and you have to take a step back and be like, “I’ve reached my limit for today or this week and I need to back off.” If you can hold it loosely in different ways and understand and give yourself grace.
That’s why we wanted to share our journey up until this point of all the greatest areas that we’ve had to rethink financially and in our career to our environment and the way that we wanted to do family. How we wanted to do our life moving forward as we shift into another episode and teach you and show you insights, tools, and some ways to begin your rethink journey and then how to leverage this process. Dreamers think differently. They have to because what we’re doing is we’re creating something that’s never been created. To be able to imagine something that you don’t physically have and getting yourself from where you are to where you want to be, it requires a different thought process. This is a prerequisite for manifesting your dreams. You have to.
From the microphone I’m holding to the camera that we’re filming on, it was a vision and we call it a dream that someone had to create that. It’s gotten better and better. It’s all around us and at some time in our life, most people put their dreams, hang them up, bury them and start to live doing the same things, the status quo. They succumb to what we’ve seen in different environments where they go and not try to push out physically, mentally, spiritually. They go through the motions of life as opposed to like, “I know I’m going to get healthier.” It’s not these major things. Traveling in an RV is probably not for everybody.
We’ve even had a couple of friends who are legitimately like, “How do you do that?” Our dream is not supposed to be your dream. I am not for this whole concept of dream big dreams. I don’t want people to dream big dreams. I want them to dream real dreams. If I’m dreaming a real dream, the byproduct is it’s going to be a big dream. Originally, when we have that real dream in the RV, that felt big at the time. It didn’t feel attainable. It blew our minds. If it doesn’t blow your mind, it’s not a dream. If you want to be healthier, but you’ve never been healthy, it’s going to blow your mind. If you want to be in a loving relationship but you’ve never had one or seen that model, it’s going to blow your mind. It’s the same thing. Remember when I told you my mind went on fire at that time that I heard and saw you say that. It’s supposed to blow your mind, but what we’re wanting is real dreams, not big dreams for the sake of big. We want real dreams.
What we talk about too a lot is the thoughts that you have and the desires that you have are for you. Those are God-given dreams as what we would consider them. They’re meant for you to live out and pursue and go after. We’ve done it in the past too where you have this brilliant idea, and 1 or 2 years later, someone develops it. Someone has it out. Someone has it to market and has done quite well with it. The thoughts and desires are downloaded to you. Do other people get them? Yes, sometimes. Sometimes they’re specifically for you that you’re supposed to act on. They don’t have to be this huge thing. I’m going to sell everything and move across the world. The desires of your heart are meant to live out because you don’t know who else is waiting for you to step into what you have. They can’t necessarily live out their full potential because you’re not. You’re afraid.You're never really ever stuck. It's just the belief that you're stuck. Click To Tweet
I remember we had one of our dreamers say to us, “I am aware enough to know that I’m stuck, but I’m not aware enough to know how to get unstuck.” In this next episode, we are going to talk about the first step into understanding why you’re stuck. You have to know that. You have to know the thought processes that are keeping you stuck. You have to understand the mindset that’s keeping you stuck. Believe it or not, it’s not your environment. It’s not the stock market. It’s not the things around you that are getting you stuck. We’ve met too many people and heard too many stories that people have overcome insane obstacles because they realize the obstacles weren’t the thing. It was the mindset around it. It was the beliefs around it. Join us in our next episode that we are going to help you understand how to start rethinking in any or all areas of your life so you too can start to chase after and clarify and manifest the dreams that are on the inside of you.
The last thing I would add to that is it’s not about how-tos because there’s a ton of how-tos out there. It’s a deeper level of understanding and awareness. That’s part of it because you have to have a new thought or something that sparks a new thought or an experience, but it’s not about the how-to. We’re excited to share this journey with you and join us next time.
See you then.
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